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Mitt Romney: Moroni-Defying Caffeine Head

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According to top Mormon leaders, drinking caffeinated sodas is an act that does actual violence to the God-directed designs of the Word of Wisdom. It’s the spirit of the thing. And aren’t Mormons into following “the spirit”?

Indeed, Mormon defender W. John Walsh–quoting leading Mormon Church authorities in his article “Drinking Soda (cola)”–notes that drinking caffeinated drinks does, in fact, violate the intent, purpose and spirit of the Word of Wisdom: “Latter-day Saints are encouraged by Church leaders to avoid caffeinated drinks. It is believed that caffeine, such as found in caffeinated soft drinks, is not good for the body and therefore violates the spirit of the Word of Wisdom."

President Spencer W. Kimball taught: "Generally when we speak of the Word of Wisdom, we are talking about tea, coffee, tobacco, and liquor, and all of the fringe things even though they might be detrimental are not included in the technical interpretation of the Word of Wisdom. I never drink any of the cola drinks and my personal hope would be that no one would."

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  1. baikal's Avatar
    Flip to the muthafuckin Flop, y'all...http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/0...ics&ref=topbar
  2. oldsquid's Avatar
    Uh-oh, for that he'll burn in - er - well - where do Mormons burn, Arizona?
  3. baikal's Avatar
    good one squid. See if you can make sense of this...
  4. oldsquid's Avatar
    I don't see Bain Capital in there. Surely it has to figure into the afterlife. After all, to this crowd isn't the real supreme being money, and lots of it?
  5. cowboycapt's Avatar
    I don't see Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom either.
  6. Antonious's Avatar
    This should make you feel a little better about Romney since he doesn't toe the line on all Mormon teachings. A little hedonistic bent is good in a president. I'm voting for Romney the wildman.
  7. oldsquid's Avatar
    "Romney the wildman" - should tell you something about the life of our resident boy scout.
  8. Antonious's Avatar
    Why what will it tell about me?
  9. Hog's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Antonious
    Why what will it tell about me?
    That you drink (or maybe snort) Coke.
  10. Grillz's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by cowboycapt
    I don't see Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom either.
    LOLz. 'Now Jim will fight the 20 boa constrictor from the canoe'...
  11. Grillz's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Antonious
    Why what will it tell about me?
    That you are a reservoir on the end of a condom that is coming out of Treyvon Martin's mouth for the 1,050th time.
  12. Antonious's Avatar
    Sad day for Obama supporters. Lech Walesa in Poland endorsed Romney. And that silly whining from the Dems while he was in England didn't hurt him. Now he is in Poland and seems to be doing okay. They don't like Obama much because he backed down on the defensive missile shield and other defensive measures when the Russians complained.
  13. Hog's Avatar
    The Poles were upset about a gafft about the Nazi Concentration Camps by Obama.